The Silver Lining of Having a Baby in the NICU

It’s day 35 of my baby boy in the NICU. It’s been really tough and it’s been a roller coaster, but I have to stay positive for myself, my husband, and most importantly . . . for him. My father engrained positivity in me from a young age, so thankfully it’s kind of habit for me to look for the good in any situation, no matter how crappy it is. This one is no different.

Most people probably can’t find anything good about their baby being in the NICU. Believe me, the “cons” list is long. But to keep moving and maintain my sanity, I’ve managed to find 5 silver linings of having my baby in the NICU:

1. I’ve been blessed with 6 bonus weeks with my baby!

40 weeks is full term, and Wyatt was born at 33.5 weeks, so I got to meet him earlier than most people meet their babies. I consider all these extra weeks “bonus” weeks that I was given with my son that I wouldn’t have had otherwise. I hear the baby phase goes by so quickly and I’m grateful for this extra time to enjoy his squishy face and baby smells.

2. I’m surrounded by people who understand what I’m going through.

No one else is going through this exact situation except me. I’m kind of alone down here, without my husband or close family or friends (eternally grateful to my in laws for taking care of me down here, though!) How ever incredibly kind and supportive, my friends and family don’t understand. Of course my husband is suffering too, just differently, but I’m the one in the trenches most of the day every day at the hospital with Wyatt. This means the majority of the time I am surrounded by doctors and nurses who understand what I’m going through and know how to handle it all. Most of my pain and frustration goes unspoken but it’s comforting to be around people who are sensitive to my situation.

3. I’m getting {some} rest.

Bringing home a newborn goes hand in hand with little to no sleep— and while this is in my near future— since Wyatt isn’t with me now, I’m getting more rest than I otherwise would be. It has been a blessing to be able to rest a bit during this emotional roller coaster. (However, I am pumping (breastmilk) for him every 3 hours around the clock, plus spending 6-7 hours in the hospital with him every day, so I’m certainly not twiddling my thumbs and getting my beauty sleep by any means). I’m enjoying some little extra naps now while I still can!

4. I’m already breastfeeding in “public” and getting more comfortable with it.

I think many women feel uncomfortable breastfeeding in public, or even around friends and family, especially with their first baby. At least, I knew I would feel that way. For the past few weeks I’ve been nursing Wyatt while the nurses, doctors, CNAs, occupational therapist, housekeeper etc comes in and out of the room. It is nearly impossible to do it “privately” and to be honest I’ve been too tired most of the time to even care. Time will tell, but thankfully I think I’ve already grown out of that uncomfortable phase.

5. Professionals are teaching me how to take care of my baby.

This is the biggest one. Before having Wyatt, I had never held a newborn before. In fact, dropping a baby was truly one of my biggest fears. I had not spent much time with infants and I was pretty clueless. Although I did a lot of reading and listened to a lot of podcasts about babies before having him, it doesn’t compare to “on the job training”. There’s so much to know and it feels overwhelming. That being said, it has been pretty amazing having nurses and doctors that are literally baby pros, teaching me how to take care of my baby. From breastfeeding to bottle feeding to diaper changing to sleep patterns to appropriate body temps and normal poop color to comforting his cries and just general baby care, WHEW! There is still so much to learn but I am super grateful to have been learning about my baby during his first few weeks beside some true professionals.

There you have it. A small list of “pros” amidst a long list of “cons”. Some days it was hard to remember anything on this list, and some days I cried more than once. But Wyatt deserves a mama constantly cheering for him and rooting him on, so I have done my very best to do that every day for him. I hope this little list inspires you to try really hard to find the good in the bad, no matter how bad or hopeless it seems.

The sun is setting on day 35 in the NICU as I write this, and thankfully I think the end is near. Wyatt has made a lot of progress in the past week. It’s been a rough 5 weeks but we have almost made it! Soon enough TJ and I will have our baby home and it’ll all be a small blip in our past.

Thank you all so much for all the sweet messages the past few weeks. <3